Picking Up the Towel.

I was supposed to have written this a few months ago; Picking Up the Towel (fast forward the video to 3:20). It was going to be a follow-up to a post I wrote on the Speaker Box . Then life hit -- ironically, what I spoke on at 3:02 became relevant to my life, again. You would have thought I would have learned my lesson the first time. But it wasn't until I was writing the blog I wrote last week about my selling my phone that I was reminded me of this. Now, while it wasn't the actual story that triggered the realization, it was again the book, "Produced By Faith" by DeVon Franklin -- another theme that was a #dammitrandy moment.

I'm not one to pay attention to signs; figuratively speaking. So when God, or the universe, is speaking to me or trying to direct me down a particular path I don't always acknowledge it. In most cases, its leading me in the direction I am not trying to go in so I, regrettably, make a conscious effort to suppress it. Then I finally give in. I accept it, and more doors open I could have ever imagined. Things start falling in place faster than I can keep up with and its like, "why didn't I do this sooner?"

In some ways, that's why I have been on somewhat of a hiatus from blogging. Well, I've been blogging, just not on here. I'm sorry for that -- but really its myself I'm apologizing to since I created this blog in part to document my journey of growth, trial and triumph that I will one day be able to share with my legacy.

In the past 7 months, I've started a new business venture; Edizon Flix Fotografia. Although modest, its growing pretty rapidly. It started out as a hobby, if you could call it that. It was more of a necessity for my artists -- head shots, shooting live gigs, etc. I had numerous friends and colleagues asking for me to shoot for them, but I politely declined since it was not my specific area of expertise. One day I agreed to shoot with Arnold Randall...and the next thing I knew gigs piled up and I had some of my work in a feature for a local publication. And a new business venture on my hands.

So this was me, again, refusing to pick up the towel, and get in the game. It only took me 3 years to realize that this is something that I really excel at, as well, being rather lucrative with. Whether it be the growth of confidence in my ability, or the idea that something kept pushing me down this path, I'm here now and I'm enjoying it. I've always felt like folks who have too many creative ventures are indecisive, or don't know what to take seriously so they try to do it all. That is why I was reluctant with owning this craft. I never want to venture too far from AG One, but I do feel this is another avenue in which I can build within the company and support my artists with -- and that was my sole purpose when I started out.

Only time will tell where it goes from here. But I've picked up the towel, and for me that is always the hardest part.

Like Father, Like Son

Strong genes, and seemingly the same shoes.

Its kind of crazy how similar my pops and I are. Similar tendencies, tone of voice and expressions. Only difference would be that I'm a natural lefty -- I just learned to do a lot of things right handed because I used his old golf clubs and baseball gloves. Leaving my teens and going into my early twenties one of my part-time jobs was working at lids. I ended up having a hat collection of over 20 LA fitted hats. Come to find out my pops had about the same amount of hats at the same age. There are a lot of other instances my mom likes to point out to me on how history is repeating; such as how we both have a guitar collection consisting of about 4 or 5 each.

I don't think its a big deal, but when people meet my father they are stunned by how much we look alike -- when they meet my grandfather they are speechless.

And to reiterate these genes I was referring to...here's my a recent picture of my grandfather.

My family is the perfect example of pursuing the "American Dream" in the fact that each generation lived a better life than the previous; and they were able to accomplish more because of sacrifices made to give their children better opportunities. As for myself, it takes a conscious effort to make sure those sacrifices were not made in vein; being aware of my blessings.

People often talk about "failure" as not being an option for them. Failure plays a quintessential role in achieving success. Giving up, however. That is not an option -- its unacceptable. 

Save Your Work. [life lesson]

I can't sleep. So I'm writing.

I've been on a bit of a hiatus from blogging in the last couple weeks -- almost a month, actually. Yeah, I posted a couple videos I liked here and there; just to stay in the groove...but I haven't really written anything or even picked up my camera to take any pictures recently since I returned from my grandmothers funeral in Texas. I'm not sure if discouraged is the word to use, but I just haven't feel too inspired lately because of some recent events.

I'm sure its a combination of the stress that life produces... The heavy heart from the recent loss of my grandmother. The frustration of losing all my work as a photographer, musician and writer. Losing the funding for my grad school classes because of a policy change. The uneasiness I have each time I've received a text in the last month when my grandmother (paternal) and/or grandfather are sent to the hospital.

Out of everything I touched upon, only one was within my control to be completely avoidable. Saving my work. I thought I had a secure way of saving it all, but I've found out the hard way that I was wrong. When I bought my last laptop I purchased an external hard drive to save all my work on. I figured all my computers in the past crashed because I saved too much on the hard drives, in an effort to preserve the life of my computer...well yeah. I lost my hard drive. Everything was on there. Well, everything but the AG One and ENOGA catalogs. At the moment, not all hope is lost -- I still have a friend that may be able to get the data transferred over to a new hard drive....but we'll see

In the meantime I'm researching servers to save and back up all our work -- especially our catalogs. But this was definitely a hard lesson to learn. Computers don't last forever, external hard drives dont last forever, CD's dont last forever.

So remember, saving everything isn't enough, it all needs to be backed up.

Divine Intervention?

Let me apologize in advance to my readers who feel that images of a cemetery are morbid. 

As some of you may know, my grandmother recently passed away and I spent a week on the road to be at her memorial services with my family in Texas. While in the process of making reservations in Fort Davis, Texas, we found out that many of the local hotels were booked up from displaced residents of the town due to brush fires.

When we arrived in Texas, the fires had stopped -- thankfully. But what was amazing to me is that the fires had completely gone around/avoided the cemetery that my grandmother was to be buried in. The adobe house -- the place my grandfather, his nine brothers and sisters, and parents called home-- that stood between the cemetery and town, gone. The house across the street that belonged to the town judge, gone. In the pictures above you can see how far spread the damage from the fire is, but the cemetery is completely untouched. 

Side bar, while on the way to the cemetery my Tio Joe (my grandfathers baby brother) was telling me how this cemetery was reserved for the Mexicans, and the "Angelo's" had their own cemetery on the other side of town -- supposedly it actually had green grass, but I couldn't confirm this.

Interesting tidbit of history.

Defining Moments

There are some things that stay with you forever. Be it a life lesson, something someone said when you were actually open to hearing it, or even something you can't make sense of until years later after life changed your perspective. Its not quite a burden nor a chip on your shoulder, but more like a impression. Its one of the few defining moments in your life that made all the difference in who you are, and where you are today.

For myself, one of those moments happened in the spring of my junior year of high school. I had just transferred to Western High and was playing JV baseball -- so my Friday nights were spent sitting in the stands of the varsity games. I remember being at Brookhurst Park, and my assistant principal stopped by to watch the game for a bit. We started talking about sports and how he played basketball at Chapman University. He was telling what his recruiting process was like and what happened when the coach that recruited him left -- we had just lost our varsity and JV coaches, and he wanted to make sure I was going to be in my teammates ears about staying on the team so the program wouldn't end while they were finding a replacement.

I remember Chris Jackson was at the plate when we started the conversation, and I think he popped out to left for the 3rd out when Mr. Brennan asked me, "whats your plan after high school?"

I really didn't know. At the time the only thing I really wanted to do was play baseball and with as much time as I spent on the bench I didn't think I was good enough to play at the next level. College, I could take it or leave it; it was so expensive and I was scared to commit myself to something I couldn't see myself being able to afford paying back. I was always taught to live within my means, and college wasn't affordable unless I went the community college route but even then I would need to find a job to pay for tuition. 

Statistically, the odds were against me either way. I was a first generation college student, as well as part of an under represented minority group which at the time I had no idea how those factors could ultimately inhibit my potential for success. But that's all hindsight.

He interrupted my train of though by clarifying his question.

"Have you picked which universities you're going to apply to?" 

Thats a huge question when your school attracted more military recruiters than admissions counselors from universities. That's when I told him I wasn't sure about going to a university, and basically spilled my guts about everything that factored into that perspective. As I was rambling on trying to explain my reasoning, Mr. Brennan interrupted me with two simple questions.

"Do you plan to have a house, and a mortgage payment?"
"Yes."
"Do you plan to have a car, and a car payment?"
"Yes."
"Then why not make the best investment you can make in yourself, and have an education payment, too?"

I remember watching Matt Ward make a sliding catch behind first base to end the game. More importantly I remember feeling a sense of empowerment. It was almost a feeling of entitlement; an opportunity I owed myself after what I had accomplished in high school. That was the first time I truly felt that I deserved to be amongst the brightest students in the state in pursuit of a degree from a prestigious university. I had a bad habit of down playing my academic achievements because that path didn't seem financially feasible to me -- I'm just glad I was smart enough to know I was wrong. Thank you Mr. Brennan.

The worst job I ever had

I was sitting down eating breakfast with my Grandfather the other day. I have to consciously remember not to tweet the gems of wisdom he gives me -- when I pick up my phone he shy's away from talking because he thinks I'm either not interested in what he is saying, or am talking to someone else. So now I have been bringing my voice recorder with me every time I go over there. So my voice recorder now has random poems and song ideas I start while I'm driving mixed in with some of my Grandfathers stories. 

He was asking me about my job, and I was expressing how unhappy I was in my situation. I started telling him about what I went through on a day-to-day with the people I work with: one of my brothers who saved me from unemployment when I was pinked slipped working in the UC system, and who also taught me one of the most valuable lessons I learned while pledging -- pay it forward; I carry that with me to this day. The three counselors who work in the revolving door of Academic Review (in my time, those three positions were held by seven different people), and then there was the older women that held the same position as myself -- she was the bulk of my frustrations at work, however I did get a lot of positive feedback from people who loved reading about my misery in working with her on twitter through my #joanism tweets.

So between working with the older woman, and dealing with the students that have attitude problems, professors who are pretentious, and parents who feel they are entitled to everything under the sun  because they pay tuition (despite FERPA regulations) -- its gets to be a bit stressful, and it starts to wear you down and it affected my personal relationships. That's where I was -- short tempered, stone faced, low energy -- and that's what I was telling my grandpa about; mainly venting about the root of my frustrations; having an inept co-worker with no common sense.

It made him laugh, and triggered a few memories he had from his working days. He told me, "you'll never find common sense in the work place." He proceeded to tell me a stories about some of his experiences working with bosses and corporate executives with no common sense that made his job more difficult than it needed to be.

He'd say, "now, this could be because I'm not 'educated' and didn't finish high school...but, me going out of my way to sell only one crate of soda to a guy at the corner store was more important to these execs than me hitting the other higher traffic stops on my route and selling and extra 5-10 more crates to each vendor....they said it was about volume...they want volume...what do I know? ...they want the one crate sale over the 10 crate per vendor sale. I wanted the bigger commission check" ...he then told me how he got the guy who refused to buy no more than one crate to become a regular 3 crate purchase every time; but got in trouble for doing it. He said, "how do you get in trouble for bringing in more business?"

There was a custodial position he applied for -- the hiring manager told my grandpa that he was the best candidate to apply, but he couldn't hire him. When asked why, he told my grandpa, "well, I'm Mexican, and you're Mexican...I dont want them to think I hired you just because you're Mexican, too." Thankfully, my grandfather still got the job.

We went on with stories for a couple hours, and I told him "you know grandpa, I think this is the worst job I've ever had..." He took a moment and drank his coffee. He stared off into what seemed to be a day dream while he was looking out the sliding glass door and then said to me, "until you've been the guy holding the sledge hammer as the cows come into the slaughter house, you can't say you've had the worst job you've ever had."

Gotta Start Somewhere [memoirs]

So as of recently I've let someone new into my life, and let her see me for all that I am. Granted, she may not have gotten it all in one fell swoop...but over time she's been exposed gradually -- so initial shock value isn't so brutal, which was by recommendation of my cousin. The same cousin who agreed to help me with this new project.

I was recently convinced to start working on memoirs...from stories of the hopeless romantics who met once, and corresponded through letters until the day they met again at the alter..and spent every day together until their last breath...to story of pain that was endured by an unhealthy love. Stories about revolutionaries a generation and a half away who fought along side Emiliano Zapata in the Mexican Revolution.

And of course, the impact this had on the development of a young Chicano trying to figure out his path to leaving an impression on the world.


This will be the first of many:

• Candid memories
• family stories
• life lessons
• personal experiences
• and adventures I have yet to encounter
  

I hope you enjoy reading the stories my cousins and I will be reminiscing over as much as we did living them.

Road Trippin: Weaverville, CA

So last friday, my cousin and I decided we would hop in the car after work and drive through the night to go visit our grandparents.

I got off work at 5pm...and my stupid ass got on the 405 freeway...why didn't I just stay on the 110?

I have no pictures of the drive through the night since, 1. I was driving and 2. it was dark. But 5:30 am...we finally made it to Weaverville.

Driving down main street on my to my grandparents house...not too much going on there. However, the population i heard doubled since i lived there in 1997. Its at a whopping 3,000 poeple..almost.

I saw this car on the way to my grandparents house. It says, "this cost 500$"

On the other side of the car it states, "I got 99 problems, and this car is one!"

Apparently this is thee spot to book in the trinity county area...they've had some major names, domestic ad int'l, come through...possible booking for Tanya Thomas?

This was hand carved using a chain saw! the detail is insane!

couple of doe across the street from my grandparents house...they've been eating my grandmas flowers and knocked down her apple tree. I broke a sledge hammer trying to get the tree propped up again.

The drive home was a lot nicer than the drive up. We drove through Trinity lake, and you can see its a beautiful view.

and of course...yours truly..

i couldn't help myself!

My birthday Celebration

So my birthday celebration started with the Friday before my birthday by going to the dodger game with the fam. My play sister got us tickets with her sorority...so I copped tickets for the fellas and brought them along...Juan has been a dodger fan for a while but it was cliff's first game and Marvin's 2nd...yo, the night was dope!



You know me and notes had to take a picture after the game with the field in the background....but telephoto lens and two big men equals not being able to see the field in the background.



Saturday we shot out to Riverside to see Common. The concert was dope, Com rocked the show. He got the crowd involved, had the people moving and it was just a great high energy event. Amanda was the coordinator for the whole gig. I have not seen a Spring Splash concert done so well in all my years at UCR. From the dope Graffiti you see behind us, to the amazing artist line up...big ups to Amanda!



They day of. So I am a cinco de mayo baby. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures with my family...but all the fellas, minus a couple, made it out to the house since my moms was preparing enchiladas and baked a cake. Yes, they ALL talked smack about me being 24 and having cake and ice cream for my birthday...but none of them turned down a plate! After the family stuff we headed out to El Torrito for taco Tuesday and then out to Downtown Fully to check out what DJ Roial 1 was spinning at Florentines....his play lists are ill...he is a dope DJ. He really understands a crowd and knows what will make them move. I think people forget that its the DJ that makes any spot dope...and when you pay a cover charge to get into a spot your paying for the DJ that is spinning...so pick your shows wisely.



Including my family...this is who i spent the night time portion of my birthday with. Sadly, my dude Juan's car broke down on him so he couldn't make it out...but it was a beautiful night. I had my people with with me. I felt the loved. I haven't been one to celebrate my birthday...and in all honesty its probably because my 21st was so traumatic seeing how it was the day of ray's viewing. But even before then I just haven't been one to celebrate.

I am so blessed...from my brothers, to my family, to the fellas and every one else that is in my life...I embody all of their influences...whether it be in my work, my actions or my music...their impact is strong.

I feel that 23 was a great year and I accomplished a lot and grew so much within a short time. I took risks, and followed my instincts (haha..not those ones) ...I messed up, but I learned from it.

So I just want to thank everyone in my life for making this year such a great year...and thank you in advance for the years to come. And of course thank you to big guns up stairs for giving me another day, and beautiful one at that.


Be Safe.