Measuring Success your Way

This piece was featured on Being Latino, Inc.



Recently, Being Latino prompted the question, “Do YOU feel that you need a college education in order to be “successful” in this country? Why or why not?” It’s a loaded question to say the least; in trying to answer it you have to know how to you define success. That in itself can be the root of one’s demise -- spending a lifetime trying to achieve “success” without understanding what their own definition of success is. But the definition of success isn’t what I wanted to address. It was the responses.

Many replies referenced the unemployment rates that many graduates are facing once they leave the comforts of the university, reiterating the perspective that a degree doesn’t promise anyone a job. Other people spoke on how hard it has become to find a job that doesn’t require a college degree; jobs that in the past only required a high school diploma, if that. The common thread: both perspectives share the desire to work or be working. For a lot of us, we grew up with this ingrained: do well in school so you get into a good college, do well in college so you get a good job, get a good job so you have a good life.

We are conditioned to be workers. Employees. We’re not taught to think about creating our own employment opportunities or entrepreneurship. The thought of being a business owner never crossed my mind, nor was I encouraged to explore that possibility. I decided to pursue a career in education because I couldn’t fathom the idea that making music could provide me the consistency and financial stability to have the life I wanted – but I stand here as an entrepreneur. It was my “ah-ha” moment that came once I had the audacity to pursue a career in music that I realized no one was going to give me the opportunity to create the type of music I wanted to make. I had to create the outlet, or opportunity, for myself. Growing up I wasn’t encouraged to take risks (especially financially) nor was I taught that if I fail then it’s not the end of the world. The hardest thing I had to unlearn was that failure isn’t the end of the journey -- its just the beginning.

College, classes, and professors will not make you proficient. They will provide you with knowledge which you apply to life, work and/or career. But what many people do is look for the path that is laid out like the yellow brick road; expecting success to be at the end of it. Just because you obtain a degree that doesn’t mean everything is going to be laid out for you on a silver platter. You have to figure out what you want to do and how to put yourself in a position to achieve that goal. Maybe a degree isn’t even part of that path, but you can’t expect to find success with a formula.  You have to put in the work and pave their own yellow brick road.

Having a degree or multiple degrees does not determine nor define your potential for success – you do. It all depends on how hard you work to make it happen.

I Don't Need Your Help

This article was featured on Being Latino.


Well, at least didn’t think I did. I suppose you could say I’m prideful -- machismo, even. But I am not arrogant nor am I disrespectful. Part of the problem is that I don’t like to ask for help. I know I am fully capable of completing the task at hand on my own, but sometimes there’s just too much to do. The other part  of the issue is I couldn't recognize that people want to help because they want to see me succeed -- and being able to trust that someone else had my best interest at heart isn’t the easiest task.

When I started my business four years ago I made a couple major mistakes that limited my potential for growth; all because of my pride. The first one was when I decided against accepting money from investors. I didn’t want to have any pressure over my head of having to pay anyone back -- I also wasn’t sure I was even going to be able to. I didn’t understand the concept of spending someone else’s money before spending your own -- I wanted to do it my way with my money. The second mistake was in building my staff, and learning to delegate responsibilities. I didn’t want to inconvenience people that I really couldn’t financially afford to have working on my team. So I ran myself ragged trying to do it all myself.

The issues bled into my relationship. I am very adamant about keeping my personal life and my business separate, but I wasn’t demonstrating that very well. I became, and sometimes still am, one dimensional. My lady was only able to experience one facet of who I am, and since I was being consumed by my business, that is who she knew; and that's who she wanted to help. That led to many moments of frustration and even arguments concerning boundaries between our relationship and my business.

That was my biggest misconception.

She wasn’t trying to over step our relationship nor was she trying to take over what was mine. Her way of showing love and appreciation for me was to contribute to what she knew meant a lot to me. But I wasn’t open to accepting it; I wasn’t able to recognize what her love looked like. The same way I wasn’t open to investors; people who truly believed in me and wanted to help me succeed by providing much needed capitol. The same way I refused to delegate tasks to people who were more than willing and wanted to be a part of the company I created -- giving their time even when they knew there would be no financial compensation up front. But I couldn’t see that.

Pride can be blinding. In my case my pride was holding me back from receiving the blessings people wanted to give me. I was stuck in a state of mind where I was the only one that could do what needed to be done. I confined myself by believing there is only one way to complete a task; or only one way to show someone love. Machismo has gotten the best of me, but I’m learning to grow through it. I just keep reminding myself, “No one ever choked to death swallowing their pride.”

Does the hyphen syphon equality?

This piece was featured on Being Latino Magazine. And yes, that is a picture from my soccer playing days.

I forget how old I was when I first learned that I am Mexican. This to me is not necessarily a bad thing — depending on how the information is presented. You can easily shape a child’s perception of specific people or put a chip on their shoulder at an early age. What is that going to do for them? Ultimately, it will affect the way they build relationships growing-up and in school. Understandably, later on down the line they will wise up to the realities of society; so no need to pollute their minds early on with what we think. That inhibits progress, but I digress.

When explaining my background my grandmother always told me, “you are American of Mexican descent.” It wasn’t until I just wrote that sentence a few seconds ago that I realized how deep it truly is. It’s a strong, strong statement declaring that I am contributing member to American society and deserved to be treated as an equal American citizen; it also embraces my rich family heritage – which is significantly different than identifying as “Mexican-American.”


I have an issue with the hyphen. African-American. Asian-American. Meixcan-Amerian. Second-Class. While it gives me the outward appearance that we are able to embrace our culture when we identify our nationality, I feel that by adding the hyphen we allow a degree of separation from what society identifies simply as “American.” I’m American, too. Why do we have to be a sub-category or sub-classification of what type of Americans we are?

Maybe the greater issue of identity lies in the question, “What does it mean to be an American, really?” So much effort goes into figuring out what everyone is because there is no real definition of what American is -- to each his own. The beauty of this country is its diversity; its downfall is equality.

You would think equality would have been a standard by now. Some may argue it is, which to an extent is true. The rest of us would say there is still a long road ahead to reach that point. Equality is something that will never be achieved over night on the mass level. It starts at the individual level; how we raise our children. Teaching them we are equal, and in order to be respected as an equal we must treat all people equal, ourselves. Embracing our differences culturally or superficially, but being accepting and open-minded with other cultures -- its proven to be more difficult than it sounds. I truly believe racism and prejudice are taught in the home; children aren’t born with these ideas or misconceptions. If we want change how we are perceived, it starts with us. In our homes. Educating our future.