Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Why not me?

I love Latin women, but I don't always date Latin women. Its not that i don't try or make the effort, but when i do try to pursue Latin women I come up empty handed. With my experiences thus far, i can say confidently that many Latin women don't find me attractive.
If they aren't attracted to me...i can't force it upon them.

I try to stay very involved in my community, especially with the youth. From elementary school students to college students, I have been blessed with the opportunity to work with them, mentor and share some of my life experiences through poetry and music with them. At the least i just try to be a positive role model for Chicano youth.

So anyway, I've dated a fair amount of women in my 23 years, all from diverse backgrounds. I don't discriminate against women i date based on their ethnicity, interests, culture, nor social class...but what i don't understand is how i get hated on when i date someone that is not Latina. Accusations such as me being a hypocrite (being about the people but not dating raza), or not practicing what i preach (not sure how that's relevant, maybe dating outside of raza is abandoning my heritage?) are thrown at me...but i don't understand how those phrases are even relevant. I'm not elitist and I have never believed people shouldn't marry/date out of their ethnicity.

First off, if Latin women aren't attracted to me...they aren't attracted to me. I'm not going to force myself into a situation or relationship strictly on the premise of color.

Second, a relationship is not about finding love, its about find someone you can build love with. I personally don't really want someone exactly like me, but at the same time possess some of the same character traits. ideally I'd like to have someone who has their own career, goals, aspirations...basically have an idea and know where they want to be but not necessarily take the same path to get there.

Finally, the way i act, speak, talk, dress, etc is not that of a typical Latino or Chicano. The way in which i present myself is how i would like to be treated, respectfully. Its always been a tight rope type of line i walk because I'm either seen as white washed or too ethnic. Although i do my best to say deep rooted, many people would assume that i am not based on my looks. I'm not going to lie, its stings when i get written off or talked down to because i date a woman that aren't raza...but what happens when the women that really take a liking and interest into my experience and my culture happen to be that of non Latino heritage? what happens when my most stimulating conversation comes from a woman that has similar experiences that relate to mine but are still completely different because she isn't Chicana...why does ethnic make-up play such a big role when you really need to build a relationship with someone based on what they consist of under that make up.

So now regardless of the women i choose to pursue...we all struggle, we all persevere...our experiences may not be the exact same but its what makes unique and the beauty of that is learning from them and relating to each other when you didn't think it was possible...i want to end this blog with a quote from the greatest DJ in the world, DJ Soulé..."you can't expect to find love...you have to create it."

just as a side note...anything written in these blogs can and will be turned into a poem, song or use in some way.


Daniel said...

You not missing nothing from not dating Latina women.......Just arguing over the dumbest things and attutide and they think in their head they are never wrong.....Trust I know....I can tell them the sky is blue and they will lokk at the sky and say no just so they can be rite.. lol....Interracial is the way to go because you also learn about peoples different cultures and customs....

pink highlander said...

always project the best of who you are.

at the end of the day, there's a lot of people who face the same challenge, being 'for the people' and criticized when their heart doesn't discriminate against who they want to be with in a relationship.

you're definitely not 'typical' because growing up, i never knew Latino men thought this way.

great blog...