you knew it was coming...
So I might as well just jump right into it. I don't really know how I feel about the year as a whole. Personally this has probably been one of the most challenging years in my 24 years of living. Well, not THEE worst but probably top 3. However, professionally this has to have been one of my most productive and successful years of my career...so its a real trade off.
As I reflect back to NYE 2008 (just so we're clear I'm talking about December 31, 2008), I remember feeling a little uncertain, unsure, but giddy. A lot of new things were going on...new experiences, new feelings, new emotions - i really felt like 2009 was going to be a special year. In retrospect, it was. I was frustrated, torn, and somewhat lost most of the year but i never lost my sense of direction.
This years wrap has seemed to be the most difficult, and thus far has taken me the longest to conquer opposed to past years. I think right now i may have figured out why. A lot of the things I was dealing with in 2009 I thought I could face head on, and so I did. I came to terms with certain situations and made my peace with them, but they weren't necessarily done with me. I was tested as a son, a brother, a man, a friend, and as a companion. Though I may have said what people may or may not have wanted to hear; I was able to speak more freely from the heart and that in itself helped leave my heart less heavy.
I spent a lot of time this year figuring out a balance that worked for me, something that proved to tend to all aspects of my life and ultimately give me a healthier mind, body and soul. I made significant progress, but there is still more work to be done. I learned, the hard way, that I can never settle for where I am at, if I get too comfortable then I stop progressing.
I recently learned that dealing with your problems head on can be a very big mistake. My dude Johnny V., my favorite Cigar Connoisseur from Sac Town, told me one day in his shop...people always try to face their problems head on; yeah you solved that particular problem but you don't see what lies behind that problem..or what else is to come. He told me, in order to understand any particular situation you can't face it head on; you have to sit on top of it. You have to be able to look down at the problem and see it from the sky. See everything as it is and whats around it: front, back and either side. Only then will you be able to properly assess a problem and everything it involves and move accordingly.
2009 we made the toast, "no babies!"...but it was all jokes. Later we found out 2009 was seeded in balance and transitions. One of my best friends is expecting his first child this month, I'm really excited for him and his family and I just felt like sharing. Anyway, for 2010's new years toast Cliff and I said this year should be about harmony and establishment, taking everything we've learned thus far to find the harmony in life. Take our mistakes in stride and not losing focus of where we're trying to be.
So here's to 2010: Harmony and Establishment.
life is music, and music is love.